The men who believe porn is wrong

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/oct/25/men-believe-porn-is-wrong

http://www.vancouversun.com/entertainment/movie-guide/Waterworks+still+socially+frowned/3507561/story.html

 

Waterworks still socially frowned on for men

 

 

By Misty Harris, Postmedia News September 13, 2010 Comments (19)

 

 

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Until recently, it was assumed Don Draper used his tear ducts strictly as extra storage space for testosterone. But in a recent episode of Mad Men, the unflappable protagonist, bereft over the death of a friend, unleashed his profound sorrow in a flood of sobs that sent viewers of the 1960s-set show into a frenzy.

Photograph by: AMC, AMC

Until recently, it was assumed Don Draper used his tear ducts strictly as extra storage space for testosterone.
But in a recent episode of Mad Men, the unflappable TV character — bereft over the death of a friend — unleashed a torrent of sobs that sent viewers of the 1960s-set show into a frenzy. In that era, after all, it wasn't every day you saw an alpha male expose the chinks in his armour.
The problem, however, is that jaws hit the floor precisely as hard over modern-day Toy Story 3, and its proven ability to make "grown men cry." Surely, men fleeing from spiders and stiff jars going unopened would be next.
"The reflexive media mania over man-tears illustrates just how entrenched retro gender role proscriptions still are," says Jennifer L. Pozner, executive director of Women In Media & News. "These 'Stop the presses! Men have emotions!' stories function as a journalistic reprimand against those who sin against traditionally strict definitions of masculinity."
According to Pozner, who teases the issue in her forthcoming book Reality Bites Back, the subtext of society's recurring amazement over male tears is that guys should "bite their lip, suck it up and act like 'real men.' "
Like a broken record (Roy Orbison's Crying, no doubt), we follow a pattern of saying it's cool for guys' eyes to well up, then acting surprised when they actually do.
When Entertainment Weekly's Owen Gleiberman saw Toy Story 3, and found himself doing "that soppy, awkward thing where you make sounds," the film critic confessed embarrassment over his unravelling. His column's headline nonetheless read, "Message to men: Yes, it's OK to cry at Toy Story 3."
"There are these ritualized times when men are 'allowed' to cry and not have it count against them," says anti-sexism activist Jackson Katz, pointing to funerals, sports victories and moments of profound patriotism as examples. "But when you cry outside those occasions, your manhood is questioned. Part of male socialization is learning those rules."
It all begs the question: if a man weeps in the forest, and no one is there to analyze it, is his masculinity still intact?
Whether entertainment that makes men cry — think Saving Private Ryan or Field of Dreams — or entertainment that shows men crying — Brad Pitt's well-hydrated performance in Legends of the Fall, or Heath Ledger's poignant, strangled sobs in Brokeback Mountain — the itch to scrutinize rarely goes unscratched.
"There's this idea that being a real man means being in control — of others and of yourself. And crying is a metaphor for loss of control," says Katz, author of The Macho Paradox. "That's the heart of the matter right there."
Ben Atherton-Zeman, a self-professed "tough guy who cries all the time," believes taboos about crying are upheld because enforcing conventional gender types keeps males in the driver's seat. Asking whether "real men" cry, then, becomes a kind of backlash against social progress.
"The feminist movement has made so many advancements in challenging traditional gender roles, for both women and men. But old habits die hard," says Atherton-Zeman, spokesperson for the National Organization for Men Against Sexism. "So when we see a man crying, it still seems remarkable to us."
The Good Men Project Magazine recently published a compilation of male sob stories, with waterworks reported over everything from Charlotte's Web (author Jonathan Eig) to Barack Obama's election (journalist Tom Jolly). Many, however, either couldn't remember the last time they wept (producer David Atchison) or shunned the behaviour altogether, with middle-school student Justin Thompson remarking: "I don't cry. I'm not a girl."
"There's been a shift in acceptance of men's vulnerability," says gender scholar Katz. "But some of that change has been overstated . . . There's a long way to go before we have fully evolved men."
mharrispostmedia.com

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article6914863.ece

Men: The second sex?

It’s increasingly a woman’s world, as boys and men lose ground at school and at work. A chance to redefine manhood?

Sexist Pepsi iPhone App

Thanks to Todd for bringing this sexist Pepsi app to my attention.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/oct/15/pepsi-iphone-app-twitter

Pepsi sorry for 'sexist' iPhone app

Drinks firm PepsiCo accused by Twitter users of stereotyping women with iPhone app suggesting pick-up lines

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• John Plunkett
• guardian.co.uk, Thursday 15 October 2009 10.41 BST
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Pepsi's 'Amp Up Before You Score' iPhone app

PepsiCo has apologised after it was accused of stereotyping women with an iPhone application for its Amp Energy drink helping users "score" on a date.

The app featured 24 types of women, including "nerd", "foreign exchange student" and "treehugger", and offered possible pickup lines including "Wasn't I in Space Academy with you?" and "You know the Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. I wonder what else she shaves?"

Pepsi's "Amp Up Before You Score" app prompted a storm of protest on Twitter, with commenters suggesting people drink Coke instead.

The US drinks giant responded with a tweet apologising for any offence caused. "Our app tried 2 show the humorous lengths guys go 2 pick up women," Pepsi said. "We apologise if it's in bad taste & appreciate your feedback."

Other categories of women featured in the app included "sorority girl", "cougar" and "punk girl", and offered suggested pick-up lines for each one. For "rebound girl" it offered a map of local ice-cream shops.

The app, which was launched last Friday, also encouraged users who were successful with one of its chat-up lines to record it via email, Facebook or Twitter.

"Let's say you meet a girl who is way into being green, and you need a vegan restaurant – we've got you covered," says an online promo for the app.

"Or say you need a quick primer on punk rock because she is staring holes in you and you are a little scared – we have got your back. If you are anticipating a successful night the Before You Score app gives you up to the minute info, feeds, lines and much more to help you Amp up and talk to 24 different types of ladies."

Under the headline "Alienate your customers? PepsiCo has an app for that", social media website Mashable said it was "certainly bold and controversial, but does it go too far?".

Twitter users certainly appeared to think so. "So is there only 1 type of man? A neanderthal who needs a cellphone app to talk to women? Here's a hint: put down the cellphone," said one.

Another said: "Enough with the sexist apps – at least make it equally sexist and make a version that women can play."

When asked if PepsiCo would withdraw the app, a spokesman told the Wall Street Journal it was evaluating its options.

"The application was designed to entertain and appeal to Amp's target market," said the spokesman. "We'll continue to monitor the feedback from all parties and act accordingly."

But not all Twitter users thought the app controversial. Another said: "Calm down PC pansies. Go read a Cosmo and get a sense of humour. You all make me sick with your sheltered approach to life."

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Man Pad - Tampax's new ad campaign

Man Pad

Tampax quietly unveiled a viral ad campaign in June that I stumbled on a few weeks ago and my feelings about it remain complicated.Despite the hours spent turning it over in my mind, my conclusion is that the campaign--documented entirely on one site, zack16.com,and chronicling the adventures of a sixteen-year-old boy who wakes up one day with a vagina--is many things in turn: edgy, challenging, steeped in stereotypes, possibly transphobic, and potentially subversive in its exploration of gender. ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

Zack Johnson, the central figure of this ad campaign--which, it seems important to note, was created by a major corporation--finds himself suddenly transbodied after living a life unquestioning of gender. The idea is interesting and deeply surprising. Zack's adventures are divided into nine brief episodes, where he is forced to rexamine his relationship to his best friend, his sister, and his body. The "sell" doesn't even come until the last few episodes, when it becomes clear that Zack is going to have to navigate his first period (which, I should note, he handles with far less anxiety and grief than I did mine.)

Stop what you're doing and watch the first four webisodes in this twelve minute mini-filmhttp://zack16.com/the-film/

As you can see, the campaign slides into simplistic and sexist stereotypes regularly, like when Zack immediately bonds with his sister by baking brownies and watching a romantic movie. Girl parts make you emotional! His final assesment of the female biology--"Fifty percent of the population has a vagina, and they seem to be doing pretty well"--is not exactly a "Hear me roar" kind of statement. There are moments thatverge on transphobic, too, like when Zack thinks that his crush won't be interested in him because of his "equipment"--um, I think a hell of a lot of women with similarly-bodied partners would disagree with that assesment.

On the other hand--and this is the part that bowls me over--Zack's experience with the boys he's friends with is, well, very transteen. He is worried about being "discovered" by his teammates, who are portrayed as sexist assholes. We are asked to sympathize with Zack, and not just in a gender-binary pity fest. His body has changed in a way that doesn't reflect his understanding of himself, and he is forced to rexamine what it means to be masculine and feminine from the perspective of one who is both and neither all at once. This aspect of the campaign is an accurate description of my adolescence, and the complexity of Zack's reaction is surprisingly well portrayed.

Ultimately, I wouldn't argue that this is a progressive, gender bending ad campaign. However, perhaps by accident, Tampax has created a documentation of a nonnormative gender experience that is not dismissive, hateful, or single-mindedly exaltant of binary norms. Zack's panic about de-pantsing on the soccor field may be one of the most sensitive portrayals of a trans experience that I have ever seen. Or, perhaps, I am being optimistic. What do you think?